I DISCOVERED MY STRENGTH DURING THE PANDEMIC

 

I DISCOVERED MY STRENGTH DURING THE PANDEMIC

 

I woke up one day, and the whole world had become silent. There were moans of fear, silent screams of anguish and dark despair of death. The deafening silences the uneasy calm, harbinger of the oncoming, relentless unsympathetic storm of pestilence and disease.

 

I was numb. But as we all do, slowly I started to pick up the pieces of the life of a new normal. I looked around and a question rose – what would happen if the grime reaper were to take me today?

 

Being an economic dependent, my exit will cause no economic ripples. But am I not integral to the home and hearth? Suddenly the truth dawned – what I do is not irreplaceable but what I am is. And then began my real journey, my sojourn to discover, who and what am I, in complete and absolute terms.

 

Each action and thought became an internal case study. Are these arising from a desire to please? Please whom? Are these arising from a place of anxiety? Anxious for what? Are these the inner darkness cloaked in the guise of care? Care for whom?

 

As the cacophony of catching up in the world, seemed like a distant dream, and living meant, each day is a complete whole with no real plan for tomorrow, the inner self asserted its identity.

 

Thoughts and actions started identifying, caring and pleasing the only one who counts in my inner universe—the me.

 

True source of joy was, is and always will be within me and without a thought I has spent half my life looking for it in all the places it does not exist. The more my communion with myself increased, the more I moved from irrelevant, judgmental, and unnecessary one upmanship.

The bustle and race of the world became an object to be known, but as an outsider. Recognition of the unfettered connection with my higher, joyful self, moved me to a space of complete acceptance of all relationships, people and situations, just as they are. All strife ended.

 

Time and life turned into the gentle wash of the waves against the dynamic, and immovable blissful self. And this I realized was my true strength.

 

If the pandemic would not have put the world to a screeching halt, I would still be running a marathon with no destination. So despite all its negative connotations attached to it, I do see the pandemic as the trigger for the discovery of my inner strength.

 

From the place of inner strength

Bhairavi A Daftary

Inner Wheel Club of Bombay Queen’s Necklace

District 314